No moving parts, no batteries.
No monthly payments and no fees
Inflation proof, non-taxable,
In fact, it's quite relaxable
It can't be stolen, won't pollute,
One size fits all, do not dilute.
It uses little energy,
But yields results enormously.
Relieves your tension and your stress,
Invigorate your happiness
Combats depression, makes you beam,
And elevates your self esteem!
Your circulation it corrects
Without unpleasant side effects
It is, I think, the perfect drug
May I prescribe, my friend,... the hug!
(and, of course, fully returnable!)

-- Henry Matthew Ward